... that I cry myself to sleep every night, my attempts to fill this void have gone unsuccessful. Crust filled eyes every morning have become all too real to me. I believe I've written these exact words before and yet hours, days, weeks, months and years have gone by and the pain is all the same.
Day comes to an end and so does my optimism. A very wise friend told me, I've neglected my own well-being. I used to take so good care of myself (even in the midst of madness, even during my lowest of lows, i always mattered. I was always first and now? I look in the mirror and I don't know me anymore. I've lost a little of myself in trying to find something I don't even know how to spell. Thee irony.
The only solace I have are my kiddies. I'm completely head over heels, ball over the fence on game 4 of the world series in LOVE with my job. How can my personal life be such a mess and yet my professional life be at an all time high all at the same time??? DREAM is my escape. I arrive at 7am and become wonder woman ...without the boots, of course. It's a beautiful feeling to be a part of something so positive. And the kiddies? Not a day goes by where they don't make me laugh and cry all at the same time. I thank the gods everyday for this blessing.
I'm a fighter. No doubt about that. My mom says I'm a spitting image of her and I believe it. This is where blogspot comes into play. This was my favorite outlet and it has gone completely ignored, shunned and forgotten about. Those little fuckers at Apple tricked me into getting a new toy lol ...this shall be my motivation for more updates. The best of beans has yet to be put on paper.
I repeat: THE BEANS ARE NOT OVERCOOKED!
Stay tuned, loves